CATCH MY BREATH

The old dirt road crunched under the weight of my SUV as I made the transition from the pavement. The last shades of fall were all around me, with russet and yellow leaves long faded to brittle brown. These few stubborn leaves were still clinging to the barren trees of the forest lining the road.

A simple A-Frame log cabin came into view, and my heart instantly lifted. I had arrived! And it was none too soon. In a year full of challenges and changes, I was frazzled and spent.

Working too many hours and pushing too hard had taken a bit of a toll. There was an edge to me now, just under the surface. A sharp edge that came out at weird times. Like when I was driving in traffic and wanted to bite the head off of the driver who cut me off. Or when someone made a negative comment that honestly wasn’t all that negative, but I wanted to find offense. Okay, maybe I didn’t give in to that one, but I wanted to, you know?

It had been a long time, too long, since I had gotten away for some personal time with my Dad. Just God and me together. These are special, sacred times for me. I get to recharge, spend deep time in prayer and the word. We scheme and dream together, and I always leave with new energy, new direction and especially, deeper peace. He helps me know what to give up and what to hold onto.

I never know quite how these times will go, and this time was no exception. There was a lot to accomplish, so my natural instinct was to jump into planning mode. I made my to-do list. Then I prayed, and guess what? God completely re-arranged the list. I felt him nudging me in an entirely different direction. He wanted to start by building into me.

But Papa, I thought, I have all these things I need to do.

Don’t you trust me? I heard him whisper inside. I know what needs to get done. Will you let go and trust me?

Slowly, I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. Felt my shoulders gently relax. I gingerly sat on the couch, taking a deep, cleansing breath, and simply let go. Of my agenda, my timing, my desire to check off all those boxes. In that moment I handed it all back over to Him.

“Yes Papa,” I said out loud. “I do trust you.”