A Time to Weep, A Time to Heal

We woke up in the darkness of early morning to hike out ahead of the oncoming Arizona desert heat.  A long road led us through deer, elk and kamikaze bunnies playing chicken with our car tires until we reached the very edge of a vast canyon.  We donned our gear, topped off our water packs, and began the two-hour hike through numerous switchbacks to make our way down into the gorge below.

I really was unsure about taking this trip.  My niece had just passed away a few weeks earlier, and my heart felt like shattered pieces of glass strewn on the ground.  I asked my sister if she wanted me to stay, somewhat hopeful she would say yes.  Instead, she blessed my departure.  I had reluctantly packed my bags.

Three weeks earlier, I had been excited.  Hiking into Havasupai Canyon to see the famous waterfalls had been a life-long dream.  It is also a very strenuous, difficult hike.  I was looking forward to the challenge. 

But when Erica died, it felt like the joy had been sucked out of me.  In the throes of deep grief, I was unsure of what kind of company I’d be or if I’d even want company.  Knowing I would be hiking with my husband, my best friend and her sister helped me to take that deep breath I needed and still board the plane.

So, when we finally made it down into the canyon and began another few hours of hiking through very rocky terrain, the early morning quiet felt soothing.  Gentle light began to softly fill the sky as we carefully picked our way through the canyon to Havasupai territory. 

I didn’t have much to say to God, in fact hadn’t had much to say to God since Erica had passed.  Yet much like the strong boulders and jutting canyons around me, I felt God’s presence enveloping me.  In my hardest moments, I literally felt enveloped by the Holy Spirit and His angels, holding me up.  Helping me move.  Those canyon walls reminded me of that fact.   

He knew I didn’t need words; I needed to feel comforted and loved.  I needed God’s Presence. And that I had.

Finally, we made our way into the Havasupai reservation.  I was struck by how remotely the people there lived.  They had carved out a life in the middle of nowhere, complete with schools and not one, but two churches.  I smiled to think of God’s Presence amidst such beauty within His creation. 

Oh, the falls were everything I thought they might be and more.  They were gorgeous.  Spectacular.  Beyond what I could properly describe.  Pictures don’t do them justice. 

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But only one week earlier flash flooding had torn through the area, and people had barely escaped with their lives. Debris and abandoned gear still lay everywhere, a stark reminder that even a place this serene and remarkable could turn dangerous in a an instant.

As I contemplated all of these things, I thought of the famous passage from Ecclesiastes:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die,

A time to plant and a time to uproot,  

A time to kill and a time to heal,

A time to tear down and a time to build,

A time to weep and a time to laugh,

A time to mourn and a time to dance,

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.” (3:1-5)

This passage stayed with me throughout my days in the canyon.  It was wonderful.  It was challenging.  At times it took my breath away with its beauty; other times it literally took away my breath from the incredible exertion it took to get to the furthest of the falls. 

Some moments felt light, serene.  My heart felt peace.  Other moments were hard.  A sadness would overwhelm me that not even the beauty around me could soothe.  I laughed; I teared up.  I felt pain; I felt joy.  I wanted to engage; I needed time alone.  There were times I was good company and times I wasn’t. 

Through it all, God held my hand.  When I didn’t want to talk, He simply sat beside me.  When I felt angry, He listened.  He would interrupt my darker thoughts with soothing words of truth, scriptures and songs that reminded me that this world is not my home.  That it’s a fallen, broken place with fallen, broken people.  Yet what incredible beauty can be found here!  What remarkable people surrounded me!  Whether short or long, time with those our hearts love most is to be cherished.

At the end of three days with 50 miles of hiking, we began our last 10 miles back—the hardest part of the journey.  Using flashlights until the arrival of dawn’s light, we picked our way back through the canyon until we reached the switchbacks that would lead us back up the mountain we had initially descended.  The end would be the toughest part.

As I doggedly made my way back up to the top, it all began to coalesce.  Life is so very much like our hiking journey.  There are incredibly beautiful and incredibly hard moments that will take your breath away.  Moments that make your heart smile, filling you with the deepest of joys and peaceful serenity.  And moments that devastate—the kind that take focus, effort, encouragement and a whole lot of Jesus to get through.  Yet what a remarkable journey it is.

No matter what’s going on in your life right now, I hope you know that Jesus has you.  That He loves you with a depth words can’t express.  His outstretched arms on the cross for your freedom tell you the story of His love better than anything else ever could.  He gave up everything to give you everything.

When the journey is hard, remember the Cross.  When the journey is monotonous, remember.  In those moments of joy, remember.  And whether you are wearing a garment of heaviness or joy, praise God for His glorious grace (Isaiah 61:1-3). 

FOR FURTHER THOUGHT

More and more, my friends, I become convinced of how important it is to let God direct our paths versus trying to lead ourselves. To cling to His words of Truth not just in the good times, but in the heartbreak, the hardship, and the challenges we all inevitably face.

In that canyon, when I didn't have words for God, He gave me His. Verses I had tucked away years ago rose up when I needed them most. Songs and scriptures interrupted my darkest thoughts and reminded me of what is true. I couldn't have pulled those words out of thin air in my grief. They were there because, at some point, I had hidden them in my heart.

The Word tells us to meditate on God's truth day and night, to write it on the tablets of our hearts (Joshua 1:8, Proverbs 7:2-4). We are not meant to read the Word and then fit it into whatever we want to believe or what society tells us we should think. We are meant to walk the path Jesus laid before us.

There is no way to do this without digging into God's Word and memorizing the verses that speak to you most in whatever season you are in. Spending time reading or listening to your Bible is a gift you give yourself, and sometimes it's a gift you won't fully open until the day you desperately need it.

And the beauty of knowing the Word? Comfort, peace, and an everlasting joy that circumstances and people can't take away. The Holy Spirit will whisper it to you when you need to hear it most.

What verses are you clinging to this week? What topics or books of the Bible are you currently studying? I'd love to hear about it!

"Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season… For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear" (2 Timothy 4:2-3).

Whatever season you’re in, open your Bible this week, friend, and let His truth take root in your heart.  You will find it holding you steady when nothing else can. 

Not sure how to study the Bible for yourself, or looking to go deeper in your personal study time? Join me on YouTube starting next week to learn easy tools you can implement into your everyday life.

PRAYER

Lord, I'm so grateful You hold the universe in Your hands. I am so incredibly blessed by You and through You. Praise You Jesus for loving me so sacrificially. May I tuck Your words deep inside my heart, and lean into the Holy Spirit to guide me forward in my faith journey, remembering You alone can change and guide me. In Jesus' name, Amen.

For Erica

ABOUT BARB LOWNSBURY

Barb has sat in the hard places — and she's learned how to shine anyway. As a speaker, author, and entrepreneur, she brings a rare combination of real-life grit and practical wisdom to every stage she steps on. She's spoken at conferences and taught classes across the U.S. on faith, relationships, leadership, and finding courage in the middle of trials. Her book, Using What's Broken to Boldly Shine, is a journey through transformation — proof that the cracks in our story don't disqualify us, they shape us. Barb holds degrees in International History, Education, and a Master's in Education, and serves as Executive Director and Editor of The Dented Fender Ministry. She also runs a successful real estate and development company alongside her husband in Lebanon, Ohio.

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