I sat back and read the words. They were harsh and bitter—exactly what I was feeling on the inside. The page held a confession of pain and resentment, a raw account of when life felt like an unending descent, and I couldn’t help but recognize my own reflection in those lines.
I remembered a time when every setback was a personal indictment from a God I once trusted without question. Back then, I felt as though every loss—every financial blow and broken promise—was a reminder of my own inadequacies. I had been a paper millionaire, clinging to an identity built on success and the pride that came with it, only to watch it all slip away.
In that season, even my prayers felt hollow. I questioned a sovereign God who provided just enough to keep me going but never the abundance I craved. The words on that page echoed the struggles of biblical heroes: Abraham’s agonizing wait for Isaac, Jacob’s wrestling match through the night, Joseph’s betrayal and descent into slavery, and David’s desperate cries. Their trials felt like a mirror to my own, intensifying my anger and disbelief.
I sat back, the memory clear in my heart and mind, and wondered how far I had come. The bitterness of the past, the resentment toward a God who wouldn’t bend to my will, began to seem like the necessary crucible through which I was being reshaped. The harsh confession on the page was not the end of my story—it was the beginning of a long, painful transformation.
In August 2019, I embarked on a prolonged fast—a deliberate act of surrender that marked the first true step toward change. That fast wasn’t just about abstaining from food; it was a period of intense introspection, a time to strip away the layers of pride and self-reliance that had long defined me. I realized that clinging to my past achievements was only keeping me from embracing a deeper, more authentic identity.
The following months brought a renewed commitment to prayer—rooted prayer that went beyond the surface and reached into the depths of my soul. I immersed myself in prophetic teachings and began to confront long-suppressed wounds, including childhood sexual trauma that had stealthily influenced every aspect of my life. Through hard conversations and a painful but necessary journey into therapy, I started to understand the roots of my self-worth and the legacy of my past.
Amidst this inner upheaval, a startling moment of clarity emerged: losing everything forced me to rebuild my identity in a way that was not dependent on worldly success. I experienced a brief, unexpected reprieve—a job offer for a COO role, a sign that even in the midst of chaos, God was orchestrating moments of hope. Although that role was short-lived due to unforeseen challenges, it played its part in my ongoing journey toward healing.
Today, I stand at a crossroads of transformation. I still grapple with doubts and remnants of my former self-reliant ways, yet I now recognize that true identity is not found in fleeting successes or material accumulation. Instead, it is forged in the willingness to surrender, to rebuild on the foundation of God’s love and faithfulness, even when the path is steep and uncertain.
I’m amazed at how far God has brought me—from a place of harsh bitterness and relentless questioning to one where hope is slowly taking root. The journey is far from over, and I continue to learn what it means to trust beyond my own strength. In every scar, in every moment of vulnerability, I now see the promise of a new beginning—a testament that even when everything is ripped away, there is room for grace, healing, and the steady rebuilding of a life defined by something far greater than myself.
FOR FURTHER THOUGHT
As you think about your own journey from bitterness to hope, take a moment to consider where you might be holding on too tightly to your own understanding. We all wrestle with disappointment, fear, and pride at times—it’s part of being human. But Proverbs 3:5-6 offers a powerful reminder: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” True peace comes when we loosen our grip on control and open our hearts to God’s leading.
Are there past hurts or unmet expectations that have built walls between you and the love God wants to pour into your life? Maybe it’s financial stress, personal failure, or pain that still lingers from the past. Whatever it is, know that vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s the first step toward healing. Spend time in prayer and reflection, asking God to help you build your identity not on success or achievements, but on the unshakable foundation of His love. And as you walk through this process, hold on to the promise of 1 Peter 5:7: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
Healing takes time, and trusting God in the process isn’t always easy. But every setback is an opportunity to lean into His provision, even when the answers feel slow in coming. Surround yourself with a supportive community, lean into spiritual practices that keep you grounded, and allow God to do the deep, steady work of restoration. Every step toward surrender is a step closer to a life shaped by grace and hope.
PRAYER
Lord, I come before You with a humble heart, ready to lay down my burdens and surrender my need for control. Help me to trust in Your guidance, even when the road ahead is uncertain. Reveal to me my true identity as Your beloved child, and replace my fears with Your peace. Fill me with the strength to let go of past hurts and the courage to embrace the transformative power of Your love. Amen.
ABOUT ROB YOUNG
Rob Young is a recovering corporate executive, writer, and self-described business therapist, helping business owners who excel at their craft but lack formal business training grow their companies from unruly teenagers to mature, productive adults. He recently published *Stage 3 Success*, a practical, actionable guide for business owners, available on Amazon. Rob holds a degree in philosophy from Wheaton College and is married to Erin, a residential architect. Together, they share a passion for renovating historic houses. To learn more about Rob, visit https://www.stage3group.com
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