When Peace is Hard to Find

If peace has felt a little out of reach lately, you’re not alone. This week’s Advent reflection is for the weary, the waiting, and the ones still searching.

Do you ever find it ironic that the very thing you’re tasked to do is the very thing you’re struggling with?  Well, that’s me as I sit down to write my advent blog on PEACE this week.

Peace. The word has been rattling around in my head all week.  I’ve prayed; I’ve studied.  But the truth is I don’t feel very at peace lately. 

I can’t say I’m in a bad space per se.  Rather, I’m in this birthing process of character change, something new on the horizon that I don’t quite understand yet.  I’m beginning to see the edges of something the Holy Spirit is bringing to my attention, but I don’t fully understand it. 

While I’m not impatient (thank you Jesus for that growth!), I am also not at rest.  It’s like something is stirring just under the surface that I can’t quite define. 

So how do I find peace in Jesus during the waiting?  Or the hardship?  Or the challenging life situations, for that matter? How do we do that? 

For me, the journey begins with my Bible.  I grab it, searching for insight, and yes—for this elusive concept of peace. 

One scripture in particular jumps out at me—1 Peter 3:11-12:

“Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, here’s what you do: say nothing evil or hurtful; snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you’re worth.  God looks on all this with approval, listening and responding well to what he’s asked; but he turns his back on those who do evil things” (MSG).

And it hits me.  While I often pray about cultivating good and being kind to those around me, am I running “after peace for all you’re worth?”  Um, no.  I’m not.

I’m impatient at the grocery store when the line is long.  My first instinct is to blurt out expletives when I’m cut off in traffic.  The daily news and the way people are so quick to condemn one party or the other with zero effort to even understand the other’s perspective wears at me. As do the endless misinformation and sensationalism.

Then there’s the unkind people in my periphery; the ones who not only constantly assume the worst of me but make no effort whatsoever to understand my perspective.  And no, I can’t get away from them.  Even with my healthy boundaries in place, it’s a constant fight to keep my thoughts in a space of blessing and good toward them.  Especially when they’re doing the exact opposite.

As I wrestle through these thoughts, I come circling back to something I already know—Jesus is always the answer.   

Jesus’ promise to me is peace as I keep my focus on Him.  Just as He kept His focus on the Father all the way to the cross—for me.  When I was His enemy, fighting for my way, my own rules, my selfish desires.

After all, Christ “died for all of us who were far from God, powerless, and weak” (Romans 5:6, VOICE). He didn’t wait until we got our acts together.  He died for us in the middle of our very worst.  Who am I to do differently?

I think on Romans 12:18-19 which says, “Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do.  ‘I’ll do the judging,’ says God.  ‘I’ll take care of it.’”

Of course, living at peace with everyone is not always possible.  But such a huge part of pursuing peace is consistently choosing what’s right, what’s kind, even when it’s hard—no matter who cuts me off in traffic or bad-mouths me.  Even in the middle of my seasons of struggle and grief, there is still good to seek and pursue.

I can’t say simply reading and pondering these ideas has somehow instantaneously brought me peace.  That would be disingenuous.  What I can say is the pursuit of peace, like so many other fruits of the Spirit, is a lifelong journey.  Today is a good reminder to keep leaning in—to stay open, to keep choosing peace even when it doesn’t come easily, and to trust that God will grow it in me over time.

There are days, of course, and even seasons when peace overflows in my life, rich and calming like a ray of sun breaking through on a cloudy day.  It warms me, reminding me life is so much more than what I see with my temporal vision.  It reminds me to look with Jesus’ vision, remembering what actually matters: eternal life with the Father. 

It’s this kind of peace that allows me to fix my eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith, “who both began and finished this race we’re in.  Study how he did it.  Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever.  And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God.  When you find yourself flagging in your faith (or peace), go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through.  That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!” (Hebrews 12:2-3, MSG). 

As I sit with all of this, I’m reminded that peace isn’t something I manufacture; it’s something I return to. It’s the steady presence of Jesus drawing me back, again and again, to what is true. Even when my emotions lag behind. Even when life feels unsettled. Peace grows as I keep choosing to look toward Him, trusting that He is shaping something in me I can’t fully see yet.

And maybe that’s the invitation of Advent: not perfect calm, but a quiet confidence that the Prince of Peace is already here, already working, already holding every unresolved place in my heart. As I wait, as I grow, as I learn, His peace meets me—sometimes in a whisper, sometimes in a wave—and reminds me that I am safe, loved, and carried. Peace doesn’t require my circumstances to change. It simply asks me to keep my eyes on the One who never does.

FOR FURTHER THOUGHT

Where in your life do you feel the least at peace right now?  Name it before God.  Sometimes simply identifying the unrest is the first step toward inviting peace back in.

Think about one relationship or situation where “as far as it depends on you” (Romans 12:18) feels especially challenging. What is one small choice toward kindness or goodness you can make this week?  Maybe it’s offering grace instead of frustration or praying for someone who has been difficult to love.  It might be letting go of a small offense instead of picking it back up.  Whatever you choose, put it into practice this week.

Finally, spend time leaning into scripture.  Reread Hebrews 12:2-3 and consider what part of Jesus’ example stands out to you as you consider your own journey toward peace.  Return to 1 Peter 3:11-12 or Romans 12:18-19 throughout the week.  Let their truth shape your responses, especially in moments when peace feels elusive. 

God promises the Prince of Peace will be there to guide you. 

PRAYER

Whether peace is in season or out of season in my life, Lord, I ask You to lead me toward more of who You are. I thank You for times when Your peace that passes understanding wells up, filling and steadying my soul.  I thank You for the times when peace is much harder to find, for it reminds me that You are gently inviting me to grow through the tension.

Most of all, thank You that peace isn’t something I have to earn or create—it’s a gift that comes from keeping my eyes on You.  Help me become a person who runs after peace for all I’m worth.  Grow in me what I cannot grow on my own.  Redirect my thoughts, calm my spirit, and help me reflect to others the kindness and goodness You’ve poured into my life. 

SHARE PEACE

Even small moments of peace are worth giving away. Share this with someone who might need it today.

ABOUT BARB LOWNSBURY

Barb is a speaker, author, and entrepreneur. She holds Bachelor's Degrees in International History and Education, as well as a Master’s Degree in Education. Barb has spoken at conferences and taught classes throughout the U.S. on topics including faith, relationships, leadership, and courage through trials. Her book, Using What’s Broken to Boldly Shine, is a powerful read on transformation through adversity. Her blog focuses on providing people with everyday encouragement and strength. Barb serves as the Executive Director for The Dented Fender Ministry and runs a successful real estate and development company. She and her husband currently reside in Dayton, Ohio.

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