Shine Stories: Pain Does Not Get the Final Word

Shine Stories | Real life. Real faith. Real shine. A weekly series of personal reflections from people in our community who’ve walked through Boldly Shine. This week, Erin shares how a painful season of leadership, disappointment, and self-doubt became the very place God exposed old lies, brought healing, and redirected her story.

If you had asked me a few years ago how I was doing, I probably would have smiled and said, “I’m fine.”

And in some ways, I believed that.

I loved Jesus, was serving faithfully, and was showing up every day to do the hard work in front of me. For eleven years, I poured myself into my role in childcare leadership. What began as a small program with just a handful of children and a tiny staff grew into something remarkable. By God’s grace, we saw tremendous growth, built a strong team, and achieved the highest level of recognition for quality childcare in the state of Indiana for a full decade.

From the outside, it looked like success. Behind the scenes, however, the journey was often exhausting.

There were seasons of intense opposition, misunderstandings, conflict, and chaos. COVID only intensified everything. Because our work was considered essential, leadership meant making difficult decisions in the middle of uncertainty while carrying the weight of everyone’s opinions, fears, and frustrations.

Over time, the external pressure began feeding something deeper inside me.

Maybe you know that feeling—when difficult circumstances do not just wear you down, but begin whispering things you were never meant to believe.

You’re not good enough. You failed. You’re alone. Maybe you were never really worthy to begin with.

What is hard is that when pain repeats those messages often enough, they can begin to feel true.

When the Lord made it clear that it was time for me to leave that chapter behind, I obeyed—but that did not make it easy. After eleven years of pouring myself out, I wish I could say the ending felt rewarding or full of closure. Instead, it felt painful, abrupt, and deeply disappointing.

Looking back now, I can see that even in the heartbreak, God was not absent. What felt confusing and painful at the time was actually part of a much bigger work happening beneath the surface.

Around that same season, I read Using What’s Broken to Boldly Shine and later joined a Boldly Shine small group. Honestly, I was surprised by how much I saw myself in those pages. It felt less like reading someone else’s story and more like finding language for parts of my own journey I had not fully processed.

One of the things I appreciated most was how practical it felt. This was not surface-level encouragement or abstract spiritual ideas. It offered real tools, thoughtful reflection, and biblical truth woven into real-life struggles.

The visual illustrations especially stayed with me. The imagery of pruning resonated deeply because that season of life felt exactly like that—painful cutting away, uncertainty, and wondering what would remain afterward. But one truth began to shift my perspective: pruning is not punishment.

I began to see that many of the thoughts I had carried for years were not truth at all. Some were tied to my recent experiences, but others had roots that reached much further back. In God’s kindness, those lies began to come into the light—not to shame me, but to free me.

What I once saw as proof of failure became an invitation to healing. What felt like rejection was, in many ways, God’s redirection. What felt like loss became a place where God rebuilt something stronger in me.

The pain was real, but pain does not get the final word.

Today, I can honestly say I am in a very different place—not because life suddenly became easy, but because my perspective changed. I learned that opposition does not define identity, leadership challenges do not determine worth, and other people’s opinions are not the loudest voice that matters. God’s truth is.

One unexpected gift is that the growth did not stop when the small group ended. Even after our group dispersed because of life and scheduling, those conversations and truths continued to surface in friendships, everyday moments, and quiet time with the Lord.

Maybe that is what I want someone else to know most.

If life feels heavy right now—if you are carrying disappointment, exhaustion, hurt, or thoughts you rarely say out loud—you are not alone. The lies may feel convincing when you have heard them long enough, but they are still lies. God is incredibly good at shining light into dark places we did not even realize needed healing, and sometimes what feels like breaking is actually the beginning of becoming.

FOR FURTHER THOUGHT

From Barb:

Sometimes the lies we carry are easiest to recognize in painful seasons, but they are not formed only there. They can quietly shape us in ordinary days too—in how we lead, respond, parent, serve, rest, make decisions, or measure our worth. It is worth asking from time to time: What thoughts have been shaping me lately, and do they line up with what God says is true?

Whether life feels heavy right now or relatively steady, it is always worth paying attention to the thoughts shaping your heart. Invite God to show you where old messages, fear, pressure, or comparison may be influencing you more than you realize. When God’s truth has already become familiar and real, it gives you something steady to stand on when life gets complicated.

Healing and growth often begin when truth gets louder than whatever has been quietly shaping us.

PRAYER

Lord, thank You for caring not just about my circumstances, but about the thoughts and beliefs shaping my heart. Where I have unknowingly believed lies about my worth, my identity, or my future, shine Your truth clearly and gently into those places. Help me recognize the difference between what pain, fear, comparison, or disappointment may be telling me and what You say is true. Give me the courage to trust You in seasons of uncertainty, the wisdom to follow where You lead, and the confidence to stand steady in Your love, knowing You are still at work in every part of my story. In Jesus' name, Amen.

ABOUT ERIN OWENS

Erin Owens lives in Indiana with her husband, Eric, their energetic daughter and son, and a bonus daughter who keeps life interesting in the best ways. Having moved 26 times in 41 years, Erin has learned a thing or two about trusting God through change. With a background in early childhood education, 26 years in childcare leadership, and countless hours of continued learning, her heart has long been rooted in serving others. While Erin knew of Jesus from a young age, a life-changing encounter with the Holy Spirit in 2013 transformed her faith from religion to relationship, and her baptism in 2022 marked another meaningful milestone in that journey. Today, she leads the nonprofit ministry Freedom in the Streets, is preparing to graduate in July 2026 as an ordained pastor, and is joyfully embracing this season as a daughter of the King, wife, mom, student, mentor, and expectant follower of wherever God leads next.

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