When the Enemy Knocks at the Door of My Thoughts

Ever have one of those weeks that kicks the stuffing right out of you?

I’ve had one of those weeks.

For every good and positive step I tried to take with the Lord, it felt like the enemy was right there beside me, ready to pounce. And as the enemy so often does, he uses those I love most. Or he jumps into the situations that are the hardest to carry well, even when I’m fully fueled up in my faith.

First, it was my wedding ring. I took it off to clean it. I went to put it back on, but it was still a bit wet, so I set it down. It’s been missing for a week now, lost on a day I never even left the house.

While my hubby has been so supportive and kind, it still ripped at my soul because of the sentimental value it holds and the beautiful story behind it. My ring finger still feels naked, and my heart has felt vulnerable and tender too.

Then came stress from without. While I can’t get into details, what I can say is that the ongoing stress of a situation I’m party to would weigh on the sturdiest of souls. Even though it’s not of my doing and doesn’t stem from me, I am not immune.

Because of it, things can get tense around here. Those are the hardest days for me. The days that can feel like a hammer chipping away at my soul. The week was ripe with them.

Finally, the enemy seems to know just how to bring all that stress into a loud crescendo at the worst possible moment. Tension rises. Words get harder. It’s ugly! Whatever spiritual strength I had left evaporated quickly, like a soft summer rain.

Through it all, Friends, I prayed.

I prayed for each individual involved. I asked others to pray for all of us, for our home, for the ring, for all of it.

And I asked.

I asked the Holy Spirit to guide my words and keep my focus outward. To protect my thoughts from the downward spiral they so desperately wanted to take. To keep me from turning to anything other than God to fill myself back up. I asked especially to help keep my focus on the good all around me.

So yes, all these challenging situations happened. I felt the spiritual and emotional kicks to the ribs most keenly. But I also felt God, right there in the very middle of it. Holding my hand. Reminding me of what’s true. Whispering sweet words of love and comfort into my soul even when I felt I had nothing left to offer anyone. In short, God kept persistently working to fill me back up even as I was being rapidly depleted.

But I think what was sweetest to me was hearing the whispers of the Spirit. A negative, ugly thought would show up, and even when I wanted to entertain it—to really dive into that ugliness with gusto—I could feel the Presence of God. I was reminded that though the devil may be knocking at the door of my thoughts, I had the strength to master it.

The Word of Truth wove around my mind, gently warning me, "... watch out, because sin is crouching at the door, ready to pounce on you! You must master it before it masters you" (Genesis 4:7, VOICE).

And again, “Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does” (1 Peter 5:8–11, MSG).

Oh my goodness, I can’t tell you how much that helped! To remember I had a choice; I didn’t have to go down those dark rabbit holes. Even when I did anyway, when the outside forces overcame God’s glorious wisdom within me, God met me with love. With love!

I thought of verses too numerous to name that have blended into almost a song of truth that I hear the Spirit singing to me again and again: I am loved. I am free. I am forgiven. I can let go, right in the middle of it, and walk forward differently. My defeats don’t define me; Jesus alone defines me, and he calls me his beloved. Without qualifiers.

I could join the prophet Micah and cry out with him, “Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.”

My friends, I can’t express strongly enough how much God’s Word helps. No matter what I’m facing, no matter the difficulty, it’s like having Jesus standing right beside me. Holding my hand firmly, refusing to let go. Fighting for me. Standing by my side.

The love, the overwhelming love, is indescribable. God fights to help me extend the grace so freely offered to me when all I want to do is beat myself up. God reminds me of how valued and loved I am when the enemy is doing all it can to keep me locked away in shame and fear.

The Word of Truth tells me plainly: “No matter how often honest people fall, they always get up again” (Proverbs 24:16, GNT). In those moments, I can almost feel Jesus steadying me as I rise.

Jesus certainly knew what he was talking about when he told us we would have trouble in this world. This week, while very small in the larger scheme of life, reminded me of that. But I also got to walk in the other half of that verse: “But take heart. I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, NIV).

FOR FURTHER THOUGHT

When the enemy knocks at the door of your thoughts, take a little time to ask: what truths from Scripture does your soul most need to hear right now? Not just in a general way, but personally. What verses remind you who God is when life feels unsteady, who you are when shame creeps in, and what is true when your thoughts start pulling you somewhere dark? Sometimes one of the most life-giving things we can do is find those verses, write them down, and return to them again and again until truth starts speaking louder than the noise.

And if this happens to be a steadier season for you, don’t waste that strength. Use it to store up truth now. Find the passages that anchor you, comfort you, and call you back to what is real before the hard days come. Tuck them away in your heart, in your journal, on your mirror, in your phone, wherever they will be close at hand when you need them most.

The enemy would love for us to be unprepared, isolated, and easily shaken. But God has already given us something steady to hold onto. The Word is not just there for the moments when we are falling apart. It is also there to build us up, strengthen our footing, and remind us—again and again—what is true.

PRAYER

Gracious Father in heaven, praise be your holy name!

Thank you for faithfully standing by me through thick and thin, and for never giving up on me -- even when I've given up on myself. Help me to continue to stand strong in the truth your Word contains. May it fill me up to overflowing. Thank you especially for the amazing grace you lavish on me with all wisdom and understanding. I am blessed beyond measure, and I am so humbled and grateful for that, Lord.

Praise be your holy name! Amen.

ABOUT BARB LOWNSBURY

Barb is a speaker, author, and entrepreneur. She holds Bachelor's Degrees in International History and Education, as well as a Master’s Degree in Education. Barb has spoken at conferences and taught classes throughout the U.S. on topics including faith, relationships, leadership, and courage through trials. Her book, Using What’s Broken to Boldly Shine, is a powerful read on transformation through adversity. Her blog focuses on providing people with everyday encouragement and strength. Barb serves as the Executive Director and Editor for The Dented Fender Ministry and runs a successful real estate and development company. She and her husband currently reside in Lebanon, Ohio.

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