The Fight

“For our fight is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:2, MEV).

I mop the sweat off of my brow, finally finished. For me, finishing a work-out is always the best part. Today, however, somewhere between stretching to get my sore muscles ready to move, and that final, happy moment when I turn off the loud, pulsating music because I’m done, something special happens.

I should probably add that my mind wanders when I work out, analyzing, sorting, categorizing. My life. Your life. All life. It’s all over the map, this brain of mine.

But today, all of the elements that can be coalesced into a thought, timed perfectly, I might add, to TobyMac’s “Get Back Up.” It's an important thought that I’d been trying to grab a hold of and crystalize all week.

Am I working in my passion?

It sounds simple, I know. But in that moment, I feel like I’m finally grasping a hold of the answer. It’s not just some nebulous question. It's a deep and profound one that I know will matter to me long after I’ve reached the age where these workouts will end and my life (should a long one be granted) will finally wind down.

Am I being fearless in pursuit of what sets my soul on fire?

I finally acknowledge more deeply the cost of the last year and a half, a season that completely upended me. I married a wonderful man. A huge blessing, yes. A complete change of my identity, how I function and how I view myself—also yes. I went from three kids and a daughter-in-law to focusing on a blended family of eight. A huge blessing AND another huge upending of my identity. My daughter is about to leave the proverbial nest for college. I finally get to pursue a career I actually enjoy, and can also start moving The Dented Fender forward again. Change, change, and more change. Oh, and COVID-19 and the weight gain that came with it. ‘Nuff said.