Redemption is About Timing

I finally deflated my bed after three weeks of camping out in the living room. It was post foot surgery, and I had decided it was time to brave the stairs and sleep in my own bed. I hadn't realized how crippled I had become in spirit until I was determined to press forward into physical healing Two nasty falls made me terrified of injuring my vulnerable foot once again Even when my family attempted to help by pushing me around in a wheelchair, I would grip the wheel or complain that they were going way too fast.

Physical healing I discovered, was not up to me, yet I desperately wanted to be in control. I can do my part through physical therapy and following doctor’s orders, but I do not get to determine how long the bone, tendon, and muscles take to heal. And if I am being honest, I am terrified they won't heal properly. The challenge is to balance moving my foot in order to keep the muscle weakness from setting in, and at the same time, to keep weight off it. Time, patience, and a willingness to allow others to provide for me are all necessary. Unfortunately, restlessness dominates when I am so dependent upon others, and impatience threatens to stop me in my tracks.

In my relationship with God, the same impatient fear impacts my day to day life. When I hear that another person has given in to despair, I wonder, Where are You, God? When my children wrestle with loss and health issues beyond their comprehension, I grow weary. Do something! I scream. In my mind I am confident that You have a perfect plan, but this does not feel perfect. I desperately want reassurance that my two remaining children will survive their physical challenges, and they will thrive in life and faith. I desire for my friends and family to see the compassion and grace that God offers. And for the world in this uncertain time, I want the tide of despair to turn for the better.

Throughout scripture, I see that God has the same desires for me for a life free from fear. It's just that God moves in His time to show me how it will play out. At just the right time, God entered the world in human form. We were sinners, longing for someone to rescue us from the cycle of destruction in which we seemed to be set. For years and years, Israel waited for the Savior, pouring over scripture so they would be ready, and still He did not come. Even neighboring nations heard of the Promised One, while paranoid kings shivered with nightmares of a God that was greater than themselves. Throughout the land, people suffered in sin, but still the Savior did not come.